Things I'll Never Understand

There are some things in life that I may never wrap my head around. One of them is long and aimless introductions, so let's jump in.

1) I'll never understand raw cashew nuts, raw peanuts, raw any nuts. Where's the draw? Sure, there may be health benefits to eating nuts that haven't had anything delicious done to them, but c'mon. All raw nuts taste pretty much entirely the same to me, but when they're honey roasted, I can tell them all apart with no difficulty whatsoever. Aside from that fact, they're also ridiculously moreish. Bake 'em in a tray, sprinkle 'em with salt, let 'em light up your life. Don't make do with the basic, bland, grossness that is a raw nut.

2) I'll never understand why some girls seem to genuinely enjoy causing drama. I was recently forced to cut ties with one girl in particular who is infamous in several circles of friends for making mountains out of molehills, and being a general stirrer, criticiser, and all-round sadist . She detects peoples' flaws and spreads the word, in the hope that the person she's taking a dig at will hear and spark an argument with her, thereby giving her a chance to let off some steam; she speaks her mind bluntly, even (and especially) when her opinion hasn't even been asked for, then uses "free speech" as a reason for sharing and refuses to apologise or acknowledge hurt feelings. Um, freedom of speech wasn't introduced so that you could knock unsuspecting friends down a peg or two, sweetie pie, look that bad boy up; if you even dare to pick her up on her own short-comings, she launches into a full-frontal attack. She just generally isn't kind-spirited, I think I should leave my rant at that. You get the idea. I'm sure we've all known girls like this. I certainly recommend ditching these kinds of people. It's really liberating being able to get away from their over-judgmental and drama-inducing ways. Cry freedom!

3) I'll never understand how some people managed to get their driver's licence. Or if they have one at all. So okay, I myself have had a few "blonde moments" behind the wheel, though none of them yet have resulted in a car crash of any sort yet. However some people on the road should actually be banned. I know, I know- the whole 'bad drivers need to get off our roads' argument has been done and dusted, time and again, but hear me out. In order to support my statement I have a very true, very proving story to share with y'all:
I was slowing to stop at a red light when heading home one evening a few weeks ago. The car in front of me clearly couldn't decide which lane they wanted to be in, so was swerving mercilessly back and forth, before settling- at a very strange, and due to my mild OCD, irritating angle- just ahead of me in my lane. I rolled my eyes, thinking that would be the worst of it. Boy, was I wrong. The car's break lights flickered off, and the vehicle began rolling backwards, towards me in my little Vitzinator. Just as I allowed myself to panic, and just as my Defensive Driving Course flashed before my eyes, the car stopped again. What. The. Heck?! Following this, a very elderly lady (think Yoda meets that crazy ice-cream lady in The Spongebob Movie) literally gets out of her car and comes towards me to ask for directions. During all this malarkey, the traffic lights turn green twice. I give her the best directions I can, trying to be polite despite my frustration so that I don't come across as a "pesky teenager" or "one of those rude little beggars". She hobbles in slow-mo back to her car and rolls backwards for a second time, before running a red light and switching lanes illegally to get onto the motorway. I drove the rest of the way home with my mouth half open, my left eye twitched half closed, and my brain swirling. How?

4) I'll never understand why some people hate reading. There are several reasons why I just can't grasp this. First and foremost, reading is awesome. At the risk of sounding like a total nerd, reading is a beautiful thing. Reading a novel can provide an amazing escape from the real world and the problems it brings with it. It can put you firmly in the shoes of another person. It can kill time in a more productive- and depending on what you're reading, more entertaining- way than 9gag. It can broaden your horizons and your vocabulary, plus gives you conversation matter. It might be worth noting that about 26% of the world's adult population is illiterate. So if for nothing else, read because they can't. Is that mean? I can't tell. I mean it in the most supportive and respectful way possible.

5) I'll never understand why spiders of any variety are considered pets. No. Oh my gosh, no.

6) I'll never understand why there are still young people taking up smoking. If you are a smoker, 0800 778 778 is the Quitline number. I get that if you've been smoking since you were a teen and you are now addicted to the nicotine it's not as simple as just stopping. It's when you're my age and you know that only negative consequences can come as a result of breathing waste into your lungs, and yet you still start it up, that I'm at a loss. A guy who I work with recently came back from his break absolutely reeking of cigarette smoke. "Woah. You took up smoking?" I said. "Maybe," he replied, trying to be cool. He failed in his attempt, by the way. "Ew, why? You don't seriously wanna do that?" I said. "Yeah I do. It relaxes me," he shot back. "Yeah, so does pilates." I have some friends who refer to themselves as "social smokers". For me, this just seems like a dressed-up way of saying, "Oh yeah, I kill myself, but only at parties" or "I smoke every now and then because I wanna look cool for my friends, and I don't have a brain to think or stand up for myself." Lame, son. Lame. 

7) I'll never understand why some people are music sadists.  I'm very much into my music, and when I say that, I mean it. I'm not just into one genre of music either. I listen to almost everything, the only exclusion being screamo and deep, deep country music. People often scroll through my iPod and their eyebrows get all weird 'cause of the variety. 'You listen to Kanye?!' I'm sorry. Does my being white, blonde, English, and female mean I can't listen to a bit of KayDub? I just made that nickname up right thur. Then there's the people, I guess "hipsters", who think they liked a band before everyone else liked the band. Or loved the song before it was on the radio. Or owned the album before the band's tour. Who cares? If you like the song now, you like the song now. Bond over it, don't compete over it, jeepers. I also hate when a good as song comes on, I start jammin', and the person I'm with makes a comment like, "Ugh, this is so old." First off, my car my rules, leave it on. Secondly, your FACE is old. Thirdly, "Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that songs have an expiry date." Got that gem off Facebook. SO TRUE. And for those of you struggling to grasp time frames, a song that was released a few weeks ago is not old. If it was a baby it'd barely be making gurgling sounds. If it was a new phone you'd still be awaiting the first devastating scratch to the screen.


8) I'll never understand why some people leave a quarter of an inch of milk/water/pop in the fridge. Just finish it off. Honestly, it upsets me more to find a plebeian portion of liquid in a bottle than to find that there is no bottle at all. I'm gonna go ahead and assume that the person doing so in my house is my 10-year-old brother, but age is no excuse. What use will I have with a teaspoon of milk or an eggcup of lemonade? None whatsoever. Ye of little common sense.


9) I'll never understand why people are so adamant that they are right. Granted, I'm sometimes on of those people to a certain extent, but what I'm talking about here is the people that won't let something be, they absolutely have to have the last word. This pet peeve of mine can be summed up in these three words: The Fart Philosophy. I'm pretty sure I invented it. Imagine this scenario. Someone farts. It legitimately wasn't you. Someone else in the room asks if it was you. You say no. They keep asking. You keep saying no, it wasn't you. Then something like this is said: "It's okay, I don't care, don't worry about it." BUT I DIDN'T FART. It's one of the most frustrating exchanges of our time. The person won't accept that it was you. They go on at you, and then take the high road and let you off the hook, even though you weren't even on the hook to start with. The Fart Philosophy can also be applied to when someone tells you to calm down when you're already cruising. I will cut you.


10) I'll never understand why I can't make lists that end on an odd number, even when I'm done with what I have to say. I guess it all comes down to my mild OCD, but odd numbers on lists and odd numbers on volume switches and odd numbers on anything really get under my skin. Right now, writing this entry, I couldn't bring myself to stop on #9. And say, for example, that I'm at a distant friend's house and they put the TV on an odd number, I literally struggle in the silence. I don't wanna look like a freak when it's something that clearly doesn't bother them. But I also don't wanna watch Tyra when I know that the volume is sat on an uncomfortable 17. Make the tele comfy again. Someone, anyone!


Yeah I probs need help. 


Later skaters.