About two months ago, I dropped my Pandora bracelet (complete with seven beautiful, sentimental charms) on my way from my car and the bus for university. I don't know if it was stolen by the smoker in the bus shelter or if I dropped it. But either way, it has since been taken and kept slash sold by somebody. I have indeed lost faith in humanity.
This is a quick lesson for you people out there who might read this. Finding something, unless it's say a $2 coin, is a test of your honesty and willingness to be a noble citizen. The person who found my bracelet and kept it for their own good clearly has no concience, or little of one. It literally depresses me to think that I'll never get my charm bracelet back again. Those charms were built up over a period of nearly a year, and while it is possible to rebuild my collection I can't rebuy the love that was attached to them. This is corny, I know. But oh so true!
On a side note, if you see someone wearing a silver Pandora bracelet with an angel, a teddy bear, a cube, a beehive, a sphere with mother-of-pearl hearts, a 'best friends' star and a strawberry charm... Dropkick them and reclaim it for me. Please and thankyou.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
Organisation.
I used to think that organisation was overrated. After all, what's the point of making your bed if all you're gonna do is get back in at the end of the day and mess it up again? Wouldn't it be altogether more practical to just leave it be and snuggle down into the pre-made indents? This was the philosophy I lived by. I myself do have some OCD preferences:
-The volume must be on an even number or a multiple of five. But don't worry for my safety, people, my car doesn't show numbers so isn't a distraction while I drive. Worry averted.
- My fingernails must be all the same length and no dirt can be underneath them. That is gross and gives people a mental image of you digging in soil.
- My hands must be washed thoroughly before I eat, after I use the bathroom, and before I wash my face or put on make-up.
- I restart my mascara if two lashes are flicking in different directions.
HOWEVER, despite this long list of weirdo traits, having a tidy room- while it was a treat- was not a necessity for me. Having a neat bed with the teddies all laid out perfectly in height order was a waste of precious hair-doing or breakfast-eating time. Then I became best friends with a total perfectionist. When Miss.Katy stays the night at my house, she makes my bed in the morning whenever she gets the chance. She folds her clothes and puts them in her bag. She wears matching pajamas. I feel a little bit happy inside when she forgets to bring her toothbrush every now and again. She introduced me to a new way of life. It took a while, I'm not gonna lie about that. But now I do prefer to make my bed and have tidy surroundings. It makes me happy to wake up in the morning knowing that I don't have to battle my way to the door for a shower.
Today I organised my bedside table. It consists of 6 drawers that were previously filled with crap. Not literally, of course. That's foul. I wouldn't put it past my brother but I'm better raised than he is. Somehow. It's now pretty and sorted into sections. And I love it. I have a drawer for all my school stuff, a section for old journals, a section for church stuff, a section for my music books- It's all very exciting and new and I don't have to spend hours searching for what I need. I look forward to opening my drawers. Is that lame? Yeah. It is. Is that gonna be taken the wrong way by dirty-minded people reading this? Yeah. It is.
My bed is made. And it's surprisingly more inviting. My carpet is clear and there are no hazards when I'm walking around. My wardrobe is neat and I don't look like a bag of laundry every day. Well. Less so than usual. And I found matches for two single shoes. Give it a go! Only good can come from organisation.
Unless you're organising a murder. Or CDs alphabetically. So tedious.
-The volume must be on an even number or a multiple of five. But don't worry for my safety, people, my car doesn't show numbers so isn't a distraction while I drive. Worry averted.
- My fingernails must be all the same length and no dirt can be underneath them. That is gross and gives people a mental image of you digging in soil.
- My hands must be washed thoroughly before I eat, after I use the bathroom, and before I wash my face or put on make-up.
- I restart my mascara if two lashes are flicking in different directions.
HOWEVER, despite this long list of weirdo traits, having a tidy room- while it was a treat- was not a necessity for me. Having a neat bed with the teddies all laid out perfectly in height order was a waste of precious hair-doing or breakfast-eating time. Then I became best friends with a total perfectionist. When Miss.Katy stays the night at my house, she makes my bed in the morning whenever she gets the chance. She folds her clothes and puts them in her bag. She wears matching pajamas. I feel a little bit happy inside when she forgets to bring her toothbrush every now and again. She introduced me to a new way of life. It took a while, I'm not gonna lie about that. But now I do prefer to make my bed and have tidy surroundings. It makes me happy to wake up in the morning knowing that I don't have to battle my way to the door for a shower.
Today I organised my bedside table. It consists of 6 drawers that were previously filled with crap. Not literally, of course. That's foul. I wouldn't put it past my brother but I'm better raised than he is. Somehow. It's now pretty and sorted into sections. And I love it. I have a drawer for all my school stuff, a section for old journals, a section for church stuff, a section for my music books- It's all very exciting and new and I don't have to spend hours searching for what I need. I look forward to opening my drawers. Is that lame? Yeah. It is. Is that gonna be taken the wrong way by dirty-minded people reading this? Yeah. It is.
My bed is made. And it's surprisingly more inviting. My carpet is clear and there are no hazards when I'm walking around. My wardrobe is neat and I don't look like a bag of laundry every day. Well. Less so than usual. And I found matches for two single shoes. Give it a go! Only good can come from organisation.
Unless you're organising a murder. Or CDs alphabetically. So tedious.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
RT: How to successfully Facebook stalk.
This was originally posted as a note on Facebook.. It's some of my early blog-style work. If you have a good 10 minutes, go ahead and indulge.
1. Do not facebook stalk only one individual. Vary your stalking between gender, school and even race where possible.
2. Do not limit yourself to only your friends. Friends of friends are also acceptable, as well as total strangers if you become a professionalised facebook stalker.
3. Take plenty of time to stalk. This sport cannot be rushed.
4. Do not decide who to stalk based only on the display picture of that person. Often, girls especially, look nothing like their dp and therefore, false advertising lures in the stalker. This leads to severe disappointment when the stalkee is actually rank. Beware.
5. Do not comment or like any photos. This goes particularly for when a photo is in the middle of an album. You must be untracable, and you don't want to ignite an awkward flame for when you next see each other in person.
6. When jumping from one profile to another using links, always right click the name and select 'open in new tab'. This way, if the person is boring, you can go back to the original profile and continue your search down their wall.
7. Where possible, tell friends via chat that you are 'just fb stalking atm.' This will make them think you're having a laugh, and you will not be under speculation.
8. Do not text cellphone numbers on anyone's page. That is just creepy.
9. If in mid-stalk you realise you know your victim from school or work, feel free to add them as a friend. However, only do so after a thorough stalk-check has been carried out and you are sure that you wish to reconnect with that person.
10. When stalking general people (not close friends) who you see on a regular basis, try not to take any mental note of the funny things that they say on their wall. If you refer to that humrous quotation in conversation, they will know you have been stalking. This is not something you want.
11. If you find yourself looking at the same person's profile daily, limit yourself to one hit a week. There is a difference between light stalking and obsessing.
12. If you feel it necessary, delete your browsing history after a stalk session.
13. Resist the urge to comment on lame statuses.
14. If you find funny a group that your stalk victim has 'liked', feel free to like it. However, be sure not to like the fact that they liked it. This is a rookie mistake.
15. Remember to check the live feed before beginning a session. This way, you can surf to see if anything catches your eye from your actual fb friends. Go from there!
16. If you discover that a total stranger has a friend in common with you, do NOT ask that friend how they know that hottie 'Brian'. This could make things awkward, and render your motives questionable.
17. If you're wanting to see what a person looks like, do not click on their picture. This will show their profile pictures, the best of the best pictures that they have of themselves.
18. Look through the 'photos of____' folder. In these pictures, you can see what the person truly looks like. The photos will have been taken when the stalkee was unprepared and caught offguard.
19. Also handily found in the 'photos of _____' folder are the friendship tag photos. In these photos, there are titles such as 'social butterfly' and 'the lame one'. This picture will tell you about the stalk victim's personality and how others see them. If the person is tagged as 'the playa' then you'll know to avoid at all costs.
20. Unless you know the person, it is pointless looking through albums named 'BACK IN THE DAY' and such. You don't want to know who you would have been dealing with 5 years ago. You want to know who they are NOW.
21. Always look at the family photo album on a person's profile. By stalking this album, you can evaluate the decency of the person's gene pool, therefore deciding further if your kids will be hotties or notties.
22. When stalking a guy, look at his friends list and decide if the majority of his fb friends are guys or girls that look like smokers. If they're mostly guys, he loves his boys and likes to have a good time socially. If they're uggs chicks with tattoos, he loves his women Amy Winehouse-esque and you're not the one for him.
23. When stalking a girl, scroll through her statuses. If they say mainly 'I hate my life' and 'kill me, someone' then best leave her alone. If they're bubbly and cute, continue the prowl.
24. Check 'likes in common' with your stalkee. If there are over 10, there may be some potential chemistry. If there are less than 2, don't bother.
25. Be aware of girls/guys who are friends with both of their parents on fb. Their decision to be fb friends with their oldies can mean one of two things: they were hacked, or they have a loving family. Numero two is GOOOOD.
26. People who have a massive list of brothers and sisters who are clearly not their siblings because it is motherly impossible, are either attention seeking brats, or popular attention seeking brats. Steer clear, big Tuna. Head for open waters.
27. People who are clearly on fb a lot either have no life or not much of one. They can be good cyber pals because of their dedication to the site.
28. If a person has more than an average of 6 likes on any status or shared link, they are easy to get along with.
29. Never add a personal message to friend invites if you were stalking them. Just hope for the best.
30. Don't accept friend requests if the person has been stalking you. You can tell this because they have added a personal message like 'Hey, saw you on here and thought you were a piece of alright'. AWKWARD MUCH.
1. Do not facebook stalk only one individual. Vary your stalking between gender, school and even race where possible.
2. Do not limit yourself to only your friends. Friends of friends are also acceptable, as well as total strangers if you become a professionalised facebook stalker.
3. Take plenty of time to stalk. This sport cannot be rushed.
4. Do not decide who to stalk based only on the display picture of that person. Often, girls especially, look nothing like their dp and therefore, false advertising lures in the stalker. This leads to severe disappointment when the stalkee is actually rank. Beware.
5. Do not comment or like any photos. This goes particularly for when a photo is in the middle of an album. You must be untracable, and you don't want to ignite an awkward flame for when you next see each other in person.
6. When jumping from one profile to another using links, always right click the name and select 'open in new tab'. This way, if the person is boring, you can go back to the original profile and continue your search down their wall.
7. Where possible, tell friends via chat that you are 'just fb stalking atm.' This will make them think you're having a laugh, and you will not be under speculation.
8. Do not text cellphone numbers on anyone's page. That is just creepy.
9. If in mid-stalk you realise you know your victim from school or work, feel free to add them as a friend. However, only do so after a thorough stalk-check has been carried out and you are sure that you wish to reconnect with that person.
10. When stalking general people (not close friends) who you see on a regular basis, try not to take any mental note of the funny things that they say on their wall. If you refer to that humrous quotation in conversation, they will know you have been stalking. This is not something you want.
11. If you find yourself looking at the same person's profile daily, limit yourself to one hit a week. There is a difference between light stalking and obsessing.
12. If you feel it necessary, delete your browsing history after a stalk session.
13. Resist the urge to comment on lame statuses.
14. If you find funny a group that your stalk victim has 'liked', feel free to like it. However, be sure not to like the fact that they liked it. This is a rookie mistake.
15. Remember to check the live feed before beginning a session. This way, you can surf to see if anything catches your eye from your actual fb friends. Go from there!
16. If you discover that a total stranger has a friend in common with you, do NOT ask that friend how they know that hottie 'Brian'. This could make things awkward, and render your motives questionable.
17. If you're wanting to see what a person looks like, do not click on their picture. This will show their profile pictures, the best of the best pictures that they have of themselves.
18. Look through the 'photos of____' folder. In these pictures, you can see what the person truly looks like. The photos will have been taken when the stalkee was unprepared and caught offguard.
19. Also handily found in the 'photos of _____' folder are the friendship tag photos. In these photos, there are titles such as 'social butterfly' and 'the lame one'. This picture will tell you about the stalk victim's personality and how others see them. If the person is tagged as 'the playa' then you'll know to avoid at all costs.
20. Unless you know the person, it is pointless looking through albums named 'BACK IN THE DAY' and such. You don't want to know who you would have been dealing with 5 years ago. You want to know who they are NOW.
21. Always look at the family photo album on a person's profile. By stalking this album, you can evaluate the decency of the person's gene pool, therefore deciding further if your kids will be hotties or notties.
22. When stalking a guy, look at his friends list and decide if the majority of his fb friends are guys or girls that look like smokers. If they're mostly guys, he loves his boys and likes to have a good time socially. If they're uggs chicks with tattoos, he loves his women Amy Winehouse-esque and you're not the one for him.
23. When stalking a girl, scroll through her statuses. If they say mainly 'I hate my life' and 'kill me, someone' then best leave her alone. If they're bubbly and cute, continue the prowl.
24. Check 'likes in common' with your stalkee. If there are over 10, there may be some potential chemistry. If there are less than 2, don't bother.
25. Be aware of girls/guys who are friends with both of their parents on fb. Their decision to be fb friends with their oldies can mean one of two things: they were hacked, or they have a loving family. Numero two is GOOOOD.
26. People who have a massive list of brothers and sisters who are clearly not their siblings because it is motherly impossible, are either attention seeking brats, or popular attention seeking brats. Steer clear, big Tuna. Head for open waters.
27. People who are clearly on fb a lot either have no life or not much of one. They can be good cyber pals because of their dedication to the site.
28. If a person has more than an average of 6 likes on any status or shared link, they are easy to get along with.
29. Never add a personal message to friend invites if you were stalking them. Just hope for the best.
30. Don't accept friend requests if the person has been stalking you. You can tell this because they have added a personal message like 'Hey, saw you on here and thought you were a piece of alright'. AWKWARD MUCH.
I've started using Twitter. Upon doing so, I was congratulated by a friend for having supposedly "grown up." I asked her to elaborate on her fairly condescending comment. She said that Facebook was going the way of Bebo. People go through a year-long phase of loving it, then before you know it everyone's moved on to the 'next big thing'. Which my friend seems to think is Twitter. It is true that in terms of Facebook, I'm rather over it. It's lost its appeal. Honestly, I have absolutely NO idea how I used to spend hours browsing that site. Other than for Farmville (yes, I was one of those people) it is unclear what could use up so much of my time. It boggles my mind.
These days I hop on Facebook once a day, twice a day maximum. I have a very quick browse of my live feed, say "Happy birthday x" to my loserish friends, reply to any wall posts, maybe throw up a status or change my dp- Then I'm off! Flash back about 2 years, and I would go online for hours at a time. I would dilligently study the live feed, comment wherever I felt my comment was needed, browse through friends' photo albums, stalk good looking guys, stalk good looking girls if I was especially bored, add anyone who I'd ever so much as walked past in my life, mail secrets to friends, chat to acquaintances.. The list goes on. How on Earth did I not get bored outta my mind?
Some aspects of Facebook are still cool and appealing to me. I like the new chat, regardless of what others are complaining about. It's faster and clearer and better. I like that you can 'like' things, whether that be photographs or statuses or people's comments. I like that you can keep in contact with people on the other side of the world. I like that I've used the word 'like' six times in this paragraph.
Twitter is hard to get used to. At first, I saw 'RT' and thought it might mean 'Reckless Thomas' or 'Raining Trains' or 'Rooftop Telescope'. But no, geniuses of the world, it means 'Retweet', and is used when you like what someone else has said and want to put it out again. Then there's the 'hashtags'. When you want to put a thought out under a heading, you do so by placing a hash symbol (aka #) before the keyword that sums up your tweet. For example:
Ugh, I don't wanna get outta bed! #ihatemondays
I just met Paul Henry.. #controversy #racistdouche
First day of my new job today #nerves
I'm glad I've "grown up". Twitter is fun. And I feel closer to Kim Kardashian than ever before.
I hope I have enlightened you a little, all four of my followers. MAKE A BLOGGER ACCOUNT AND FOLLOW ME. I'm not desperate. Peace out!
These days I hop on Facebook once a day, twice a day maximum. I have a very quick browse of my live feed, say "Happy birthday x" to my loserish friends, reply to any wall posts, maybe throw up a status or change my dp- Then I'm off! Flash back about 2 years, and I would go online for hours at a time. I would dilligently study the live feed, comment wherever I felt my comment was needed, browse through friends' photo albums, stalk good looking guys, stalk good looking girls if I was especially bored, add anyone who I'd ever so much as walked past in my life, mail secrets to friends, chat to acquaintances.. The list goes on. How on Earth did I not get bored outta my mind?
Some aspects of Facebook are still cool and appealing to me. I like the new chat, regardless of what others are complaining about. It's faster and clearer and better. I like that you can 'like' things, whether that be photographs or statuses or people's comments. I like that you can keep in contact with people on the other side of the world. I like that I've used the word 'like' six times in this paragraph.
Twitter is hard to get used to. At first, I saw 'RT' and thought it might mean 'Reckless Thomas' or 'Raining Trains' or 'Rooftop Telescope'. But no, geniuses of the world, it means 'Retweet', and is used when you like what someone else has said and want to put it out again. Then there's the 'hashtags'. When you want to put a thought out under a heading, you do so by placing a hash symbol (aka #) before the keyword that sums up your tweet. For example:
Ugh, I don't wanna get outta bed! #ihatemondays
I just met Paul Henry.. #controversy #racistdouche
First day of my new job today #nerves
I'm glad I've "grown up". Twitter is fun. And I feel closer to Kim Kardashian than ever before.
I hope I have enlightened you a little, all four of my followers. MAKE A BLOGGER ACCOUNT AND FOLLOW ME. I'm not desperate. Peace out!
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Internet Fame
The title of this blog entry may well seem like an oxymoron. Is there really such a thing as being FAMOUS on the INTERNET. Some might attempt to debate this, but the answer is yes, there is. I myself am not famous on the internet. I have 4 official followers, and my mother often reads my entries. Or I force her to listen to me read my entries. But currently I am somewhat addicted to a 'youtube celebrity' names Natalie Tran. She has a channel called 'communitychannel', where she posts various videos (over 200 of them to date) based on the random things that she notices in her everyday life. Things like:
-Killing a spider, and then worrying that the spider's family will seek revenge.
-The way people try to casually look over their shoulder when someone says "Don't look now but...".
-The awkwardness of sharing your umbrella with a stranger in rainy weather.
-The way everytime someone is reported dead on telly, the neighbours refer to the victim as "such a nice girl!"
I think part of the reason that I allign so well with her is the fact that we share a lot of the same ideas and, like me, she is kinda obsessed with cleanliness, germs, and the behaviours of others. As far as I'm concerned, Natalie is famous on the internet. She is proof of its possibility. She notices things that not many other people would notice, things that make you think "Oh my goodness, yes! People so do that!" Internet fame is indeed an option. It's surely hard, and has its downsides, but to me it seems like a good place to be. Eventually, and on youtube especially, your ideas and videos are agreed with and watched so often that you are able to make money off of it. Win.
Other youtubers to check out who I consider internet-famous:
Ryan Higa (nigahiga)
Kevin Wu (KevJumba & JumbaFund)
Shay Carl and family (SHAYTARDS)
... This list may be revised as my life continues. So watch this space. Also I am vaguely considering making a youtube channel. But hey, that's unlikely to happen and my chance of being internet famous is extremely low. I just don't have the hair for it.
-Killing a spider, and then worrying that the spider's family will seek revenge.
-The way people try to casually look over their shoulder when someone says "Don't look now but...".
-The awkwardness of sharing your umbrella with a stranger in rainy weather.
-The way everytime someone is reported dead on telly, the neighbours refer to the victim as "such a nice girl!"
I think part of the reason that I allign so well with her is the fact that we share a lot of the same ideas and, like me, she is kinda obsessed with cleanliness, germs, and the behaviours of others. As far as I'm concerned, Natalie is famous on the internet. She is proof of its possibility. She notices things that not many other people would notice, things that make you think "Oh my goodness, yes! People so do that!" Internet fame is indeed an option. It's surely hard, and has its downsides, but to me it seems like a good place to be. Eventually, and on youtube especially, your ideas and videos are agreed with and watched so often that you are able to make money off of it. Win.
Other youtubers to check out who I consider internet-famous:
Ryan Higa (nigahiga)
Kevin Wu (KevJumba & JumbaFund)
Shay Carl and family (SHAYTARDS)
... This list may be revised as my life continues. So watch this space. Also I am vaguely considering making a youtube channel. But hey, that's unlikely to happen and my chance of being internet famous is extremely low. I just don't have the hair for it.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Ditherers
To dither is to pause unnecessarily in a situation where others would prefer you rushed.
The above definition wasn't taken from a dictionary, though I can see why one might assume so. I wrote it myself. Impressed? You should be. My mother is very intolerant of these people who dither, people otherwise refered to in the Pattie household as 'ditherers'. It's those people who take their sweet time comparing tuna brands in the supermarket whilst blocking you and three other trolleys from briskly browsing the aisles and selecting anything you can grab at that might get eaten. It's these people who spend their time folding napkins dilligently and neatly as opposed to setting out the acutal cutlery at an event. It's these people who get in the way, and sometimes walk funny.
I have at times found myself dithering. Working as a checkout chick, it's easy to dither. There's a hole in a bag of icing sugar and you're just not switched on today. So instead of doing the normal thing and swooping it into a bag and calling a grocery boy over the intercom to come and replace it, you find that you're instead watching the sugar pour and thinking about how the hole might've got there to start with. Yes. You're dithering. You realise this and snap out of it, but it's already too late. You dithered, and the customer saw you dither.
What would your mother say?
The above definition wasn't taken from a dictionary, though I can see why one might assume so. I wrote it myself. Impressed? You should be. My mother is very intolerant of these people who dither, people otherwise refered to in the Pattie household as 'ditherers'. It's those people who take their sweet time comparing tuna brands in the supermarket whilst blocking you and three other trolleys from briskly browsing the aisles and selecting anything you can grab at that might get eaten. It's these people who spend their time folding napkins dilligently and neatly as opposed to setting out the acutal cutlery at an event. It's these people who get in the way, and sometimes walk funny.
I have at times found myself dithering. Working as a checkout chick, it's easy to dither. There's a hole in a bag of icing sugar and you're just not switched on today. So instead of doing the normal thing and swooping it into a bag and calling a grocery boy over the intercom to come and replace it, you find that you're instead watching the sugar pour and thinking about how the hole might've got there to start with. Yes. You're dithering. You realise this and snap out of it, but it's already too late. You dithered, and the customer saw you dither.
What would your mother say?
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