Status Updates

Some people have an inability to filter information in their heads. They can't decide what needs to be said on a public forum, and what should just be kept inside their mind grapes.

I had a facebook friend (note 'had'- past tense) who would constantly write status updates, using the innocence of facebook to tweet. This is a breif, and possibly slightly exaggerated, example of her status updates over the course of just 2 hours on an average weekday:

9.23am OMG I had such a weird dream!
9.25am Off to have a shower now :)
9.34am Refreshed and ready for my big day..
9.46am Breakfast with @Kane Thomas
9.55am Ugh, eggs taking forever!! Can't get decent service these days.
10.04am Yumm! Worth the wait :D
10.17am Don't want to go to my uni lecture..
10.22am Can someone give me a ride to my uni lecture?

You get the idea.

You'd think that when NOBODY comments on or likes your status, you'd pick up on the vibes that no-one is in any way interested in what you have to say. It's these kinds of statuses also that make everyone wants to post rude and sarcastic comments, such as 'Cool story bro' or 'How riveting!'. It is quite possible that I am the only person bitchy and harsh enough to actually follow through and publish these comments. So before defriending this reject who has no self-awareness, I liked every status down her page and commented on each one individually. Boo-yah.

Status updates, to me, are something to be kept sacred. Unless you have something either hilariously witty or of public interest to say, shut the heck up! Read it over before you hit post. If it doesn't make you smile or excited to share with the world, delete it and just text it to a friend. Simple. Your friends don't need a play-by-play of everything in your day. So keep statuses far and few between, with humour where possible and as little tags to individuals as possible. This is another way of deflecting people off reading (and potentially liking) your status. If you've tagged a bunch of your friends, even if the status itself is funny, outsiders will not want to like it in case they look like they're trying too hard or trying to get in on the action.

I am a wealth of knowledge.